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It’s All Wiring: Shifting from Moral Judgments to Wiring-Based Understanding in Relationships



Since our discovery, we’ve learned that every difference between us boils down to one thing: wiring. Before our breakthrough, we weren’t aware of how our brain wiring was affecting our day-to-day interactions. We saw the frustrations, the misunderstandings, and the emotional reactions, but we lacked the ability to connect those behaviors to the underlying wiring differences in real time. We often defaulted to thinking it was something wrong with who we were or even who our partner was, which led to feelings of frustration, blame, or even resentment.


Transition to a Wiring-Based Understanding

Now, everything has changed. Since then, we’ve developed a guiding mantra here at BTG that helps us focus our energy on understanding and troubleshooting behaviors and miscommunications, rather than getting stuck in frustration or blame:

"It’s either all wiring, or it’s not wiring and they’re just an jerk. We can’t help jerks. It’s a good thing it’s all wiring, because BTG can help with wiring!" - 2023 BTG Program

This mindset shift is powerful because it allows us to stop wasting energy wondering, “Is this a wiring issue? Is this a personal failing?” The truth is, it’s all wiring. If someone’s behaviors, reactions, or miscommunications are coming from their brain wiring, we can work with that. We can troubleshoot, adapt, and find tools that allow us to bridge those gaps.

But if it’s not wiring and purely malicious intent, that’s beyond what BTG addresses. The good news is, it’s not malice or a lack of character—it’s wiring differences that we can understand and navigate.


Wiring vs. Moral Failing: A Game-Changer in Relationships

When we reframe relationship struggles as wiring issues, it removes the moral judgments we often place on ourselves or our partner. Instead of thinking, “They just won’t listen,” or “I must be too emotional,” we start to see that it’s not about willpower or character flaws—it’s about how each person’s brain is wired to process, react, and communicate.


For example, instead of thinking:

  • “They won’t listen to me,” it becomes: “They can’t process what I’m saying the way I’m saying it.”

  • “I must be too emotional for them,” becomes: “Their brain processes emotions differently than mine.”


This simple shift from will/won’t to can/can’t removes the feeling of malice or intentional neglect from the situation. When it’s framed as “can/can’t,” it takes the sting out of interactions because now we know it’s not a matter of won’t listen, won’t care, won’t connect—it’s that their brain, in its current state, can’t process or respond in the way we need.


Real-Life Example:

Let’s say one partner is trying to have a deep emotional conversation, but the other partner, who is a logical processor (MP-L), responds with solutions or problem-solving. The emotional processor might interpret this as “they just won’t connect emotionally” and feel hurt. But with a wiring-based understanding, it becomes clear that it’s not a refusal to connect, but simply that the logical processor can’t engage emotionally until they understand the problem logically first.

This shift helps both partners realize, “It’s not that they’re ignoring my needs—it’s that their brain is processing differently than mine.


Why This Matters for Navigating Relationships

When you understand that everything boils down to wiring, you can approach challenges with compassion and curiosity, instead of frustration or blame. You begin to recognize that most relational issues aren’t moral failings or signs of disrespect, but rather differences in how each person’s brain is processing the world around them.


Instead of asking, “Why won’t they do this?” or “Why won’t they change?”—we start to ask:

  • “How is their brain processing this situation?”

  • “What tools or frameworks can we use to bridge this gap?”

This is where the BTG framework comes in—by helping individuals understand their wiring (and their partner’s wiring), we open up new ways of processing, communicating, and connecting. We’re no longer locked in patterns of blame or resentment because we now know that it’s not about bad character or intentional malice—it’s just wiring.


The Power of "Can’t" Instead of "Won’t"

Understanding wiring also allows us to step back from the emotional charge of assuming bad intent. When we see behaviors through the lens of can’t rather than won’t, it’s easier to engage in problem-solving. We stop taking things so personally because we know it’s not about intentional hurt—it’s simply that the other person’s brain can’t process or engage in the way we expect, due to their wiring.

This understanding fosters:

  • Patience: Instead of rushing to judgment, we can slow down and recognize that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools their brain has.

  • Compassion: When we realize that no one is deliberately trying to hurt or frustrate us, it’s easier to extend grace and empathy in moments of conflict.

  • Problem-solving: Instead of getting stuck in arguments, we can move toward solutions that address the real issue—the wiring differences—using tools like BTG’s Personal Processing Worksheets or Communication Companions.


It's All Wiring, and That's Good News

The beauty of recognizing that it’s all wiring is that wiring can be worked with. It’s not about judging ourselves or our partners for how we process or communicate; it’s about understanding how our brains are wired and using that understanding to build stronger, healthier relationships.

So the next time you face a frustrating situation, remember: It’s not a moral issue; it’s a wiring issue. And with the right tools and understanding, you can navigate those wiring differences, troubleshoot behaviors, and build better connections.


Here’s a list of examples specifically within the BTG framework of manual logic and emotional processing. These examples show common frustrations that occur between a spouse who manually processes through logic (MP-L) and a spouse who manually processes through emotion (MP-E), with an emphasis on shifting from moral judgments to wiring-based understanding:

1. Problem-Solving vs. Venting

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "Every time I try to share how I feel, they jump in with solutions. It feels like they don’t care about my emotions."

  • Wiring framing: "My spouse is a Manual Processor of Logic, and their brain naturally looks for ways to 'fix' things to show care. This isn’t about them ignoring my emotions, but their wiring pushes them to seek functional solutions instead of sitting in emotional space."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "I’m trying to help by offering solutions, but they get mad at me for not 'listening.' It’s frustrating because I just want to solve the issue and move on."

  • Wiring framing: "My spouse is a Manual Processor of Emotion, so they need to process feelings fully before moving into problem-solving mode. They aren’t rejecting my solutions—they just need to feel heard first."

2. Expressing Emotions vs. Needing Logic

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "When I’m upset, they seem cold and distant. I feel like they don’t care about my emotions."

  • Wiring framing: "Their brain is wired to process things logically, so they might seem emotionally detached, but that’s not because they don’t care. Their default processing style is to focus on 'what makes sense' rather than 'what feels good.' I can help by expressing what I need in a clearer, more logical way."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "I don’t understand why they get so upset over small things. It feels like they’re blowing things out of proportion."

  • Wiring framing: "My spouse processes emotionally, so their brain prioritizes 'feels good' or 'doesn’t feel good' as critical information. They aren’t being irrational, but their wiring tunes into emotions first. I can help by giving them space to express those feelings before we look at the logic."

3. Decision-Making Conflicts

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They don’t understand why I hesitate to make big decisions. They think I’m indecisive, but I just want to feel good about it."

  • Wiring framing: "Their brain focuses on function and logical outcomes to make decisions. They’re not trying to pressure me—they’re wired to seek efficiency and outcomes, while I’m wired to process feelings about the decision first."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "I don’t understand why every decision needs to be such an emotional process. Why can’t we just do what makes the most sense?"

  • Wiring framing: "They process things emotionally, needing to feel secure and 'right' about a decision before moving forward. My quick, logical decision-making might make them feel rushed, but it’s a difference in how we process, not a lack of desire to decide."

4. Conflict Resolution

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They just walk away when we argue instead of staying to talk things out. I feel abandoned."

  • Wiring framing: "Their logic wiring might be going into fight or flight, where they need space to think and process logically before they can engage emotionally. It’s not that they’re abandoning me—it’s their brain’s way of trying to keep control and come back to the discussion later."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They want to keep talking about the argument endlessly. I don’t see the point if we’ve already covered the facts."

  • Wiring framing: "Their brain is wired for emotional processing, meaning they need more time to work through their feelings even after we’ve logically covered everything. It’s not about dragging things out—it’s about letting them fully process emotions before they can move on."

5. Tone and Word Choice

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They always focus on the exact words I use instead of how I’m feeling. It makes me feel like I have to be a robot to talk to them."

  • Wiring framing: "They’re a Manual Processor of Logic, which means their brain picks up on words and structure rather than tone or subtext. It’s not that they don’t care about how I feel, but their wiring makes them focus on what I’m saying rather than how I’m saying it."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They get upset about my tone or body language even when my words are clear. Why can’t we just stick to what was actually said?"

  • Wiring framing: "They’re a Manual Processor of Emotion, so their brain is highly tuned into non-verbal cues like tone and body language. They aren’t misinterpreting me on purpose, but their wiring causes them to prioritize how something is said over the exact words used."

6. Expressing Love

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They never express love in the way I need—through affection, emotional connection, or kind words. It makes me feel unloved."

  • Wiring framing: "They may express love through function—doing things that help or showing up practically. This isn’t about withholding emotional connection—it’s how their brain processes showing care. I can guide them to understand what I need emotionally."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They’re constantly asking for reassurance or emotional expressions. I don’t get why my actions aren’t enough to show love."

  • Wiring framing: "They’re wired to need emotional affirmation as part of feeling loved. My actions might make logical sense to me, but their wiring processes love through emotions and words. It’s not about neediness—it’s a different form of processing connection."

7. Planning and Organization

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They always make plans without consulting how I feel about it first. It feels like they’re inconsiderate of my emotions."

  • Wiring framing: "As a Manual Processor of Logic, they’re wired to prioritize efficiency and function when making decisions. Their goal is to get things organized logically, not to dismiss my feelings. I can help by expressing how plans affect me emotionally so they know to consider that in their planning."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They always want to talk about how they feel about plans instead of just figuring out what makes the most sense. It takes forever to get anything done."

  • Wiring framing: "They process things emotionally, which means they need to feel secure and emotionally prepared for any plans. It’s not about slowing things down, but their wiring leads them to ensure their emotional needs are met before moving forward with decisions."

8. Parenting Styles

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They’re too strict with the kids and don’t seem to care about how the kids feel when they discipline them."

  • Wiring framing: "They process logically, so their focus is on structure, rules, and consequences rather than the emotional experience. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about the kids’ emotions, but their wiring leads them to prioritize order and logic over emotional consideration. I can help by discussing the emotional impact afterward when they are more open to processing it."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They’re always coddling the kids and letting them off the hook emotionally. The kids need to learn discipline and responsibility."

  • Wiring framing: "They’re a Manual Processor of Emotion, so their instinct is to prioritize how the kids are feeling during discipline. They’re not ignoring responsibility—they just need to ensure the kids’ emotional well-being is addressed alongside the discipline."

9. Sexual Intimacy

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They seem uninterested in emotional intimacy and connection before sex. I feel like they only care about the physical part and not me."

  • Wiring framing: "Their brain is wired to process logically, so they may see sexual intimacy as an action that leads to connection, while I need emotional intimacy to feel connected first. It’s not that they don’t care about me—they just process the connection differently."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They always need to feel emotionally connected before they’re interested in sex. It makes me feel like we have to have a deep conversation every time, which isn’t how I experience intimacy."

  • Wiring framing: "They process emotionally, needing to feel emotionally secure and connected before engaging in physical intimacy. It’s not about over-complicating things, but their wiring creates the need for emotional closeness before they can fully engage in physical connection."

10. Handling Finances

  • Frustration (Emotional Processor): "They’re always focused on the numbers and don’t seem to care about the stress or anxiety I feel about our finances."

  • Wiring framing: "They process logically, so their brain focuses on making sure the financial situation is functional and stable. It’s not that they don’t care about my stress, but their wiring prioritizes solving the problem logically. I can share my emotions in a way that helps them understand the impact finances have on my well-being."

  • Frustration (Logical Processor): "They’re always talking about how stressed they are about money, but I’ve already laid out the plan and it makes sense. Why do they keep stressing over it?"

  • Wiring framing: "They process emotionally, which means they feel the emotional weight of financial uncertainty even when the plan is sound. Their brain needs to process and express those emotions in order to feel secure. It’s not that they don’t trust my plan—it’s just how they deal with financial stress."



What About Agency? 

1. Awareness vs. Processing

Awareness does not equal processing. Processing only happens when we have the proper neural networks (boxes) installed. Simply recognizing that something is happening isn’t enough to create real change or choice. Without the tools or neural networks to fully process, someone may be stuck in the same patterns without true agency to shift their behavior.


2. Agency Requires Color Boxes

Agency can only occur when we actually have a choice—when our brains have color boxes installed that allow us to see and access different options. These color boxes represent the new neural pathways and expanded understanding that enable us to see beyond our default black-and-white reactions. If someone is stuck in their black-and-white boxes, they have a very limited view of their options, or they may only see one option. This isn’t real agency, because they’re not in a position to make meaningful choices—they are just reacting to the limited possibilities that their current wiring allows.


3. The Illusion of Choice in the Black-and-White Box

When someone is operating from a black-and-white box, they might feel like they are making choices, but those choices are severely restricted by their limited neural networks. For example:

  • An emotional processor may feel trapped between emotional shutdown or overwhelm, not realizing there are other ways to respond.

  • A logical processor may think their only choices are disengaging or pushing for a solution, unaware that they can engage emotionally or allow for more flexible responses.

This is why true agency only exists when a person has more expansive neural networks, allowing them to see and recognize more options. Without these options, they are stuck, and their reactions are more like automatic responses than conscious decisions.


4. Agency Requires More Than Awareness

Some people might be able to identify what’s happening—they’re aware of their processing differences or emotional triggers—but this doesn’t mean they can necessarily choose how to respond. In order to exercise agency, several things are required:

  • Resources: Having the right tools (like BTG’s Personal Processing Worksheets or Communication Companions) to help them process.

  • Neural Networks: Having the color boxes (neural pathways) installed that allow them to see and understand multiple options.

  • Energy: Having the mental, emotional, or even physical energy to act on these choices. Without this energy, even with the right boxes installed, it can be impossible to move forward.

If these elements—resources, networks, or energy—aren’t present, then true agency doesn’t exist. The person may feel stuck or unable to choose because their brain doesn’t have the pathways or energy to engage with other possibilities.


5. Limited Choices and Perception of Agency

When someone is truly stuck, they can’t even recognize that agency is possible. They may not be aware that there are other options beyond what they’re seeing, because their brain isn’t wired to access them. In this case, they might feel they are constantly choosing between bad options—like “picking their poison”—but this isn’t true choice. It’s a sign that they are operating with limited processing capacity, and the color boxes needed to open up more possibilities simply aren’t there.


6. Breaking Free from Limited Agency

The key to expanding agency lies in installing the color boxes—expanding the neural networks that allow for new processing abilities. This is where BTG’s tools become essential:

  • Personal Processing Worksheets help individuals process emotion or logic more effectively, reducing overwhelm and making space for more options.

  • Communication Companions help couples communicate in structured ways that bridge their different processing styles, creating more meaningful choices in how they interact.

By building these neural networks, individuals can see new possibilities and begin to make real choices that reflect their values, rather than just reacting out of habit or limited wiring.


7. True Agency Comes from Expanded Processing

In summary, agency is not just about awareness or recognizing an issue. True agency comes when someone has:

  • The neural networks (color boxes) installed to expand their processing capabilities.

  • The resources and tools to help navigate their challenges.

  • The energy to act on their choices.

Without these elements, a person is stuck in their black-and-white box, unable to access true choice. Real agency requires being able to see and recognize multiple options, then having the capacity to act on those options in a meaningful way. Only then can individuals truly break free from being trapped in reactive patterns and begin to engage with their lives and relationships in a more empowered way.



Common Questions:


1. How does the concept of "it’s all wiring" explain why we keep having the same problems in our relationship?

  • Answer: "It’s all wiring" means that many of the patterns we see in our relationship are tied to how our brains are wired to process things like emotions and logic. If both partners default to their natural processing style (e.g., one needs logical solutions while the other needs emotional validation), they will likely repeat the same conflicts without realizing the root is in their wiring.


2. Can you give examples of how our brain wiring affects how we handle arguments?

  • Answer: If one partner is wired to process through logic, they might respond to a conflict by offering solutions right away, while the partner wired to process emotions may feel dismissed if their feelings aren’t validated first. This wiring difference can lead to misunderstandings in how each person approaches resolving the argument.



3. Why do we struggle to communicate with each other? Is it because of how our brains work differently?

  • Answer: Yes, communication struggles always come from wiring differences. One partner might process words and facts, while the other focuses on tone and emotions. If both partners assume their way of communicating is the "right" way, it can cause frustration when the other doesn’t respond as expected.


4. How does the way our brains are wired affect how we react emotionally or connect in relationships?

  • Answer: Our wiring influences whether we seek emotional closeness first (emotional processors) or need things to "make sense" first (logical processors). It also affects how we form attachments—whether we feel secure or anxious in the relationship can be linked to our brain’s wiring for emotional regulation.


5. Does "it’s all wiring" mean we can’t change or grow in a relationship?

  • Answer: Not at all. "It’s all wiring" explains why certain patterns feel automatic, but neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change) means we can develop new wiring or pathways that allow us to process differently. With the right tools, like those in the BTG framework, we can break out of old habits and grow together.


6. How does brain plasticity help us change the way we respond to relationship problems?

  • Answer: Neuroplasticity allows the brain to form new pathways, meaning that even if we’re wired to respond to conflict in a certain way, we can build new "color boxes" that give us more options. Through repetition and effort, the brain can rewire itself to handle conflicts in healthier ways.


7. Do our childhood experiences affect how our brains are wired for relationships later on?

  • Answer: Yes, early childhood experiences help shape the neural pathways we rely on in relationships. For example, if someone grew up in a household where emotional expression was discouraged, this will exacerbate their processing or conflict with their processing style and cause more trauma. For example, if a MP-E was raised in a home where  emotions couldn’t be discussed or processed out loud, this will cause a lot of trauma because they lack the ability to process their own emotions automatically. For a MP-L, this may further shut down their ability to process their own emotions or tolerate others emotions in the future. 


8. How does understanding our brain wiring help us solve conflicts better?

  • Answer: When we know that differences in how we process information (logic vs. emotion) are due to wiring, we can approach conflicts with more empathy. Instead of blaming each other, we focus on tools and strategies that help bridge the gap between our different processing styles.


9. How does the idea of "it’s all wiring" change how we think about blame in relationships?

  • Answer: It removes the need to assign blame. When we understand that a lot of our actions come from how our brains are wired, it’s no longer about someone choosing to be difficult or stubborn. It’s about working with those wiring differences rather than seeing it as a character flaw.


10. Are men and women wired differently in ways that affect relationships?

  • Answer: Yes, there are some general gender differences in brain wiring, such as tendencies for men to focus on problem-solving and women to prioritize emotional connection. However, these differences vary from person to person and don’t define everyone.


11. What are some ways to change the brain wiring that causes relationship problems?

  • Answer: BTG! Learning the BTG framework helps you learn about yourself, your loved ones, and gives you the blueprints for how to navigate it.


12. How can understanding brain wiring make us more empathetic in relationships?

  • Answer: Once we realize that many of our partner’s behaviors are due to how their brain is wired, it becomes easier to have empathy. Instead of thinking, "They’re just ignoring my feelings," we understand that their brain may process emotions differently, allowing for more compassionate responses.


13. How do biases from our brain wiring affect how we see our partner’s behavior?

  • Answer: Our brain wiring can create cognitive biases, like assuming our partner is being critical or dismissive when they’re simply processing differently. For example, if someone is wired to focus on facts, they might seem uncaring when they’re just trying to solve the problem, not dismiss the feelings involved.


14. How does the brain's reward system influence how we feel love in a relationship?

  • Answer: Our brain’s reward system releases chemicals like dopamine when we experience love, affection, or positive interaction. This reinforces bonding behaviors, but it also means that if we don’t receive those rewards (like affection), we may feel disconnected, affecting the relationship dynamic.


15. What does "it’s all wiring" mean for how happy we are long-term in relationships?

  • Answer: Long-term satisfaction depends on how well partners understand and work with each other’s wiring. When couples use tools to overcome wiring-based challenges, they’re more likely to experience fulfillment and commitment because they’re addressing issues at their root cause. When we understand that much of what happens in our relationships is due to how we’re wired, we can stop blaming ourselves or our partner and start using practical tools to overcome those challenges. It empowers us to take proactive steps toward healthier communication and connection.


16. How do stress and brain wiring affect how we handle relationship problems?

  • Answer: When we’re stressed, our base brain wiring can amplify negative reactions. Cortisol, the stress hormone, can make us more reactive, leading to more black-and-white thinking, which makes resolving conflicts harder until we learn how to manage stress and emotional responses.


17. How do brain wiring and trust issues relate to each other?

  • Answer: Trust is deeply connected to predictability. We naturally trust those whose behaviors we can anticipate, but when someone seems unpredictable, trust can break down. If we don’t understand that our partner’s behaviors are driven by their brain wiring, they may seem erratic or unreliable, which makes trusting them difficult. For example, if one partner processes emotions while the other processes logically, without an understanding of their wiring differences, their reactions might feel confusing or even hurtful. This unpredictability creates doubt and damages trust over time.


    However, when we start to learn about how our partner’s brain is wired, we begin to see patterns in their behavior that we didn’t recognize before. What once seemed random or inconsistent starts to make sense within the context of their natural processing style. By understanding that their responses are shaped by their brain’s wiring, we can begin to predict how they will act in certain situations. This predictability builds trust because we can anticipate and make sense of their actions, even when they differ from our own ways of processing.


18. How does "it’s all wiring" explain why we struggle with controlling emotions in relationships?

  • Answer: Emotional regulation is largely dependent on how our brain is wired. If someone’s brain is wired for emotional processing, they are manually processing their emotions and anything unexpected could basically set them all lose! This is why they may attempt to control their surroundings, to prevent the internal floodgates from breaking.  Learning about what boxes are needed so there isn’t so much manual processing to be done will help with those emotions.  


19. Are there personality traits or mental health issues that are linked to brain wiring and affect relationships?

  • Answer: Yes, all personality traits and mental health issues are fundamentally shaped by brain wiring, and they can significantly impact relationships. Conditions like anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, addictions, and even specific personality traits (e.g., being more introverted or extroverted) are rooted in the brain’s neural wiring. These wiring patterns influence how individuals perceive, process, and respond to the world around them, including their interactions with loved ones.


    For example, someone with anxiety may be wired to perceive threats more easily, leading to overreactions in relationships, while someone with ADHD might struggle with attention and focus, impacting communication and consistency. By understanding that these traits and disorders are tied to wiring, partners can better navigate the challenges they create, fostering greater empathy and finding effective ways to support one another.


20. How do substances like drugs or alcohol affect brain wiring in relationships, and when does it shift from being a wiring issue to a moral issue?

  • Answer: Substances like drugs or alcohol alter brain wiring by impairing normal functioning, affecting decision-making, emotional regulation, and behavior. Even though someone might start using substances to cope with underlying wiring issues, once substances take hold, it’s not a moral issue but still a wiring issue. The brain has been hijacked by the substance, affecting their ability to function and make clear choices. To truly help them, we must approach with compassion and understanding, realizing their actions are the result of altered brain chemistry. The goal should be to offer support when they’re sober, helping them learn about their original wiring challenges and teaching them healthier ways to cope without relying on substances.


Grasping the concept that "it’s all wiring" is absolutely crucial to creating a solid foundation for your personal learning and growth journey. This belief isn't just a helpful perspective; it’s the key that unlocks your potential to navigate your relationships and inner struggles with greater clarity, compassion, and effectiveness.


Why It Matters

When you understand that everything is wired—that the way you think, feel, and behave is rooted in how your brain is structured and processes information—you begin to shift from blame and frustration to empowerment. You stop seeing recurring issues in your life or relationships as personal failures or moral shortcomings. Instead, you recognize them as patterns of neural processing, ones that can be understood, worked with, and ultimately reprogrammed through conscious effort and practice. This shift in mindset enables you to approach challenges with curiosity rather than judgment.


On the other hand, if you cannot grasp or truly believe that it’s all wiring, you will likely fall into patterns of self-criticism or blaming others when things go wrong. You might label yourself or your partner as "bad" or "lazy" or "uncaring," when in reality, you’re both just operating within the limits of your current neural wiring. This mindset traps you in black-and-white thinking, making it harder to see new possibilities or access the solutions that could improve your situation. If you continue to operate from this perspective, your journey will feel much harder, filled with frustration and a sense of helplessness.


How It Affects Progress

Believing that it’s all wiring opens the door to progress. It creates the space for growth because you understand that your brain is malleable—it can be rewired. This process of neuroplasticity allows you to install new "color boxes" (expanded neural pathways) that give you more options, greater emotional regulation, and improved communication in your relationships. But if you don’t believe it’s wiring, you won’t seek out the tools or strategies needed to change. You may stay stuck, thinking that change is impossible or that the fault lies in character flaws, which drains the hope and energy needed to move forward.


Building a Solid Foundation

When you believe in the concept of wiring, you can lay a strong foundation for personal development. You’ll be more compassionate with yourself and others, recognizing that everyone is doing the best they can with the neural networks they have. You’ll seek out tools like BTG’s Personal Processing Worksheets or Communication Companions because you’ll understand that these tools help rewire your brain, unlocking new ways of thinking, feeling, and relating.

In conclusion, believing it’s all wiring gives you the power to transform. It helps you shift from reactive patterns to thoughtful, empowered choices. Without this belief, you risk stagnation, frustration, and a journey that feels like an endless uphill battle. By fully embracing this mindset, you create the foundation for true growth, change, and meaningful progress.


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